Divorce

I'm 9 days away from the end of my marriage. I honestly don't even know what I feel. Maybe that's because I kind of always knew it would happen. Don't get me wrong, i wanted things to work out and I believed in our relationship. But sometimes people aren't ready.

Some folks have suggested that I didn't take my vows seriously or that I didn't know what marriage was about. I disagree. I knew what I was getting into. What I wasn't expecting was that we'd wind up being so stubborn that we couldn't manage to get to a common ground. I'm greatful for the experience though. I learned A LOT about the type of person I am and what's important to me in a relationship. I learned a lot about love and forgiveness and priorities. I think what hurts the most in all of this is that i know i'm losing a friend. Him and I used to go to shows, hang out and just chill together. Even though we're still cool, I have to often stop myself from calling at 1am to ask "are you watching such-in-such."

I never thought that i'd be divorced, childless and still in school at 31, but this is the path that i'm walking. Somedays it feels nice to be free to pick up and go wherever whenever, but sometimes I wish I had something a little more stable. I've been transient all my life, I think it'd be nice to just stop and stay still for awhile.