Therapy

Once a week I go and spill my guts to some white chick who seems to think that all i need is reassurance and validation. That creates a couple problems... 1) i need a new therapist, 2) I don't like her.

I'm supposed to go talk to her today and quite frankly I'm not looking forward to it. I know what i want to talk about, but I also know how she's going to react. I express fears about infidelity, she tells me that I shouldn't worry because I'm a great person, the bf is lucky to have me and i look at her like she has breasts growing out of her forehead. I don't want to hear that. I want to hear why he seems so nonchalant about what happened. I want to hear why his attempts to reassure me didn't even come close. I want to know why i still don't trust what I've been told. I want to know why I think that even given the chance to come clean he didn't tell me everything. In other words, I want her to answer the questions that he won't.

I swear i just want to curl up into a nice little ball and sleep for like 2 months. Maybe in two months I can wake up and we'll be well into spring and everything will be happy and joyous. Somehow though, I don't think that's ever gonna happen.

I just know i'm tired and a nice long sleep would be nice.