Stepping Out

**Disclaimer**
This entry isn't about cheating. If that's what you're looking for, please exit stage left.

Now...
I am socially awkward... or maybe i should say, i can be socially awkward. I don't really do well with small talk and my networking skills are deplorable. I'm good at talking to my friends. I'm good at running my mouth with people i know well. But for the most part i am painfully shy when it comes to unfamiliar situations.

A huge part of getting a job upon graduation will have to do with my ability to network, small talk, initiate convo etc. That scares me. To say i have anxiety issues is probably a gross understatement. Some days I'm not able to leave the house. So imagine trying to force myself to not only leave the house but to throw myself into an uncomfortable and unfamiliar situation. It's not something that i look forward to.

I can't even begin to count the number of times i've seen someone that i recognize and i'll go over to say "hello" or something. As soon as they respond i'm ready for the convo to end. So while they're going thru the whole "OMG! I haven't seen you in so long how are you?!" I'm like "well it was good to see you bye!" That makes for a most awkward convo.

I've been trying to force myself into becoming more comfortable in social situations. By forcing myself to go to happy hours, trying to join clubs/organizations, etc., i'm hoping that i can learn to be comfortable in social settings and to gain confidence in my ability to talk to people and carry on conversations. I am also taking a course next semester that will simulate trials. I hope that it will make me feel more comfortable with my public speaking and help me to stop feeling so awkward.

It's hard forcing yourself past your boundaries and making yourself try something new, but i'm workin on it!