I'm tired of moving

but i'm sure i'll be here for awhile

---

---

I am giddy

i just registered for what will be my last fall semester EVER.
*does a little dance*

Of course, as is always the case, one of the classes i wanted is already full *insert pouty face here* but that's ok...

I'm a little torn about what direction I want to take my last year. My grades aren't stellar, but law school was a great experience. I've met some wonderful ppl and quite frankly, I had fun. I'm not going to be unemployed. I'm going to be fine. (i'm going to repeat this like everyday from now until forever)

In Debbie Downer news, I was looking at my student loan debt and expected payments... all i can do is laff at this point because well... i'm so far in debt it's not even funny. I mean like house debt... house and car debt... my kids will be out of college before i'm finished paying off my debt debt... Part of me wishes I could move into a $900 a month apt for 2 yrs, and take one of those $150k a year jobs... and just spend 2yrs paying it all off... but 1) i would hate myself and my life and 2) i don't have the grades for it... soooooooooooo Plan B... find a job that will repay my loans and somehow get them forgiven. But yeah... i'll be fine... (see)

There are about 7 weeks until i head west. I admit i'm getting a little nervous but this summer will be as much about growth as it is legal opportunities. I really want to do well, but I also need to prove that I've grown past the person I was many moons ago.

I think that's enough randomosity for now.

Poor Clumsy Mittens

So remember when I was "alive and kickin"? Well i'm not really kicking anymore. Yesterday I sprained my ankle for what has to be the 50th time. One day these ligaments are just gonna give up on me and i'm gonna have a wobbly ankle or something gross. Yesterday's incident occurred at work. I was just walking (that's all it ever takes) and my ankle buckled and i felt that pop that is my ligaments saying "oh fuck this" and then the excruciating pain. Luckily my coworkers were there to help me out.

so so clumsy.

So yeah, either i did a good job within the first few hours or it wasn't *that* bad because i'm actually able to walk which isn't always the case when i do this ankle twist thing. either way i really need to give thought to doing some strengthening exercises for my ankles because this is the pits.

Dear Young People, Die... Thanks

Soooo.... We went to the Stussy grand opening party last night at Chloe in Adams Morgan...

Now... Before I start let me say that I really don't mean to hate on shit... it's just really easy to... and some people/places/things need to be hated on... Now I'll continue

So i'm in Adams Morgan at this party. My first clue should have been the terrible line management (mismanagement is what they call it i believe). I fully understand V.I.P.s what I don't understand is jackass bouncers. Chloe has a jackass bouncer. There was so much posturing and false bravado that I could only assume that his penis is freakishly small. At any rate, the line was halfway up the block and it was raining. And there was a V.I.P. line that was fairly long as well. So they hold the line and start letting V.I.P.s in... cool... but not really. I don't know what took so long but for every V.I.P. there was the dap hug, a little bit of name dropping and then a twenty minute process to get a wristband. After waiting patiently for a good twenty minutes at the front of the line, the kids in front of us ask how much longer they'll be in the rain... asshole bouncer #1 says "gotta let VIP in first"... dude is like "i know but it's raining... i'm just asking' asshole bouncer says "hey some ppl know ppl and some ppl don't". I laffed... like seriously... "some ppl know ppl..." word? Everyone knows ppl. Not everyone is a dickhead bouncer though... that's what he should've said... anyway so the line moves and we're at the front where mr. big testosterone/small penis comes out to yell loudly and be seen. You know the type... white guy, decent muscles, tight black "muscle" shirt with the club logo. BT/SP spends about 5 minutes overcompensating for his SP by yelling at dickhead bouncer #1... something about how he was going to "regulate the hell out of the line"... again I laffed. So Mr. SP regulates the hell out of the line for about 7 minutes... during which time he let about 85 V.I.P.s in... the best part about the V.I.P. is that there was no actual list... People would be standing there. They'd be like "we're on the list"... the bouncer would look at the other bouncer and say "they said they're on the list". Bouncer 2 would say ok and they'd get in. Last night I should've said I was on the list... because clearly i'm on some list somewhere and i think that's all it takes to get in the club.

After about an 15 minutes in the rain (yeah dumb shit, right?), we get in to this party. This is where my hatred of young ppl comes into play....

I lived thru the 80s. The bad hair, the bamboo earings, the foolishness... For awhile I was all behind the kids dressing up in their best 80s gear. I was loving the nostalgia... all of that... but last night i saw some of the worst club behavior EVER. I'm talking bad dancing... Bad attempts at tryna holler at broads... It was one dude dragging this chick thru the club... old girl was draggin some other dude behind her. Finally the first dude stopped and asked dude why he was following them. Ol' boy was like she pulled me along... dude one was perplexed the girl just shrugged and again... I laffed. There was bad dancing in circles, bad dancing in front of the bar... I dunno just not my crowd. I got to talk to/network with some folks but it definitely was not my kind of party. The crowd was diverse... but still pretty lame. I wonder if that's how i looked when I first started going to clubs... i damn sure hope not.

Alive and Kickin'

Yesterday was a blur... I was working with about 1.5 hrs of sleep and everything was just hazy. I need to learn how not to procastinate because that sleep deprivation thing is not what's up.

Several days ago marked the end of the Short Write On competition where 1Ls and part time 2Ls write a ten page paper in hopes of being selected for one of the school's journals. After they submit them, the papers need to be read and graded. I got 30 papers to read... 30... 10pgs long... all about the same thing. Every single paper had the EXACT same structure "In case name the court held..." I wanted to cry. Reading the papers wasn't the hard part. The topic was actually interesting and most of the authors were good writers. No... the hard part is trying to grade blue booking skills. The blue book is like the MLA of law... it tells you the proper (read: nitpicky) way to cite to legal sources... and it gets tedious... like "is that comma italicized?" tedious.

At any rate I put off the grading task and wound up staying up all night Monday to get it done.

My weekend was cool (before that). Friday night we went to a beat making competition. It was Kev Brown, Marco Polo, Best Kept Secret and Anomaly (B's mentor).... all i can say is "wow".

It's no secret that I have issue with Kev Brown... not Kev himself... but everyone's insistence that if i like Pete Rock I must love Kev... and how Kev sounds just like Pete Rock. I don't want to hear nobody sound like Pete Rock. Talent to me isn't being able to emulate someone else, it's being able to do your own shit. Everyone has influences, but show me what makes you special. Friday night I (temporarily) became a Kev Brown fan. The beats I heard on Friday were his. I heard what made him different and I loved what i heard. Unfortunately, as soon as I acknowledged that publicly there was a Dilla-esq beat... followed by a Pete Rock-esq beat. Nevertheless I know what he's capable of and I will no longer threaten to kill people behind the comparisons.

Next was Marco Polo.... got damn. I don't have some long drawn out story about him so this little "blurb" probably isn't going to do him justice, but that cat is talented as hell. I'll definitely be checking for him in the future.

So next was Best Kept Secret (BKS)and well... i mean for me they were the weak link that night. Don't get me wrong, the dudes are talented but I don't know it just seemed like they were the least developed of the contestants... could be me though.

Finally... Anomaly. I've heard this dudes name for the last two years. As i said, he's B's mentor so B speaks rather highly of him. I didn't know what to expect because somehow I had managed to never hear anything by dude... well at least very little. In my true (and completely unbiased) opinion, dude is extremely talented. While all the contestants had really hard hitting beats, I think what set him apart was the "extra" shit that came with his beats... like there were 'treats' sprinkled throughout... it's hard to explain, and I'm sure I missed alot with the music blaring in the club.

Saturday was a chill day and my weekend ended with a trip to the new Nationals stadium. I'm still in awe at the fact that it's like a real life ball park. If i look past the long lines and some of the poorly planned designs I can say with 100% certainty that I had a blast. Our seats cost about $80 for 2 and they were excellent. It's crazy what they've done with that area of the city... the whole city really... Can't wait to make it to another game.

The Roots: Rising Down

Yesterday we went to Philly for the Rising Down listening party.

Where to begin. First of the event itself was nice. Good food, quite a few familiar faces, etc But the real reason we were there was to hear the album

*sigh*

It's a good album. A strong album. The Roots seem to pride themselves of thinking outside the box. Their music, though always undeniably hip hop, is never a compilation of what everyone else is doing. You tend to get what happens when you have a group of extremely talented individuals working together to come up with a finished project: either a masterpiece or crap. This album falls somewhere in the middle. Black Thought is, as usual, on point. There are songs on the new album that i LOVE (see the last track featuring Wale) while the ones that I don't like just irritate the hell out of me. There's no question about whether I'll buy the album. I just don't think it lives up to the "Better than Things Fall Apart" hype.

Truth Hurts

Sometimes you really don't want to know the truth. I mean we LOVE the truth when it's in our favor... but when you find out that maybe you're not as smart as you thought or maybe you're not as important as you thought you were? ouch.

With just nine weeks left before i head back to san fran the butterflies are starting to flutter. I'm becoming more and more busy and yet nothing seems to be getting done. My laptop died at a pretty inopportune time. The SO is too busy to hang out with me. My drinking is just about back to where it was... and the stuff i *need* to do is steadily piling up. Add to that the frustration and bruised ego that goes along with not having a job or any prspects in the fall and well... yeah... this hasn't been a good week/month for me.

But enough of the complaining. I suppose things could be worse. I think i'm gonna start using all this alone time to take more pics...not that i have anywhere to download them to... but whatever. i'm also at looking at picking up another activity or two at school. We'll see.

I'm getting too old for this shit

*sigh*

Last night definitely didn't live up to its hype. De La Soul performed at a club here in DC and well.. I dunno... I left disappointed. The night started off well-enough (kinda). After work I headed out to U St for a couple of mojitos. The drinks were decent but the bar convos were less than stellar. To my right was a black man explaining to the (white) waitress why black women aren't worth his time. To my left was another black man who looked to be in his 40s. He was talking to his boys about the wonderful mind games he was running on his women and how smooth he was. Needless to say his boys were all high fives and chest bumps.

From there me and a friend travelled to a spot called Vapiano over at 18th and M. It was way more crowded there but i think it's a spot i'll visit again. We left at about 829p and went to get in line for the club.

Doors were supposed to open at 830p... 830 and 930 came and went as i waited outside the club. It was pushing 1015pm when the doors finally opened. I should take this time to point out that 1223 is not a large club. If anything it's more of a lounge and for the most part, the club sucks. 1223 is located on Connecticut Ave, 1223 Connecticut Ave to be precise. That's just below Dupont Circle and like just above downtown. The vibe in that place is just always off. Both times that I've been there (I now refuse to go back) the place has just an air of wackness. Like the idea is to have it be this "upscale" club... which is cool but arrgh I can't put it into words. Needless to say, while standing in line the bouncer walks by doing a shoe check, my boy is told that his black nike boots (a dc staple) are a no-go. I had on these so I had to run to the car and change.

At any rate 1015 i'm in the club and my friend David offers a drink. I accept and wind up with a VERY cranberry, cranberry and vodka. The saving grace for the night was that 9th started spining almost as soon as folks walked in the door. His set was cool. Old school songs that you don't hear too often but that make you feel good. Unfortunately, there were plenty of barely 21 yr olds in there that just didn't get it. I overheard this one kid (who pushed his way in front of me and closer to the stage) say "i don't even think I know any songs by De La Soul... and I really don't know any of this stuff he's playing." At any rate after what feels like forever (it's about 11:45 at this point), De La takes the stage.

Now... I have a love/hate relationship with De La performances. Ever since the first "all the beckys get on the stage" incident, it's always been kinda hit or miss with me. I usually go to support because well.. there one of my fave groups of all times... but I tend to notice a dynamic that always bothers me a bit. Unfortunately that negativity comes from Dave who I feel is most talented of all three members. Dave seems over the whole De La thing... I mean i can understand not wanting to do Me, Myself, and I and a host of other songs that they probably hate by now... but his general demeanor is just... wack. Like throughout most of the performance I felt like we were a bother to him. Maybe we weren't energetic enough? Maybe he was having a bad day? Perhaps, but it's not the first time I've noticed it.

The other beef i have is with the song Rock Kokaine Flow. The song that appears on the album features Dave, Pos, and MF Doom. I have NEVER seen Dave do his verse... and there's always a reason/excuse. The time I saw De La in DC at the 930 Club, Dave appeared to be under the influence of something.. that night he just said "i ain't doin that shit"... in CA a couple years back at the Rock the Bells show, he made a similar comment... last night he said "it wouldn't do that song justice to do it without MF Doom"... word? You performed Buddy without 80% of the lineup... a lineup that contained folks that've done way more than Doom did... you performed COUNTLESS songs that were performed with others... but you can't do *this* one. Don't get me wrong... I like Doom (the real Doom... not the fake one that was doing shows) but c'mon... just say what it really is... RKF has GOT to be a difficult song to do live... the breath control it requires has GOT to be hellish... and well... I just don't think Dave has it in him. Perhaps I'm wrong... I'd like to be wrong... But that's my take.

I finally got home at about 130 last night... tired... and a bit hurt. No one wants to be disappointed by a performance by artists they admire. But that's where i was. Part of me says maybe i need to stop going to shows... But EPMD and ATCQ put on GREAT shows... I dunno maybe it was because 1223 sucks so damned much... Either way the night was decent. Definitely cool for a free show. 1223 won't be getting any more of my money though... as to De La... I'm still up in the air on them.

**ADDITION**
Ok... now I'm pissed... I just found out that Dave *HAS* done his verse in San Fran... arrrghhh Thanks Geo... I hate you... but not really :)

And just like that...

I'm busy again.

There's about a month left in the semester. About 10 weeks until I leave for California. And about a million things that I need to do before then.

Although I'm pretty much done with school, I need to make the most of these last few grades that I get to try to get at least a decent GPA. I bit off a little more than I could chew this semester so I have fallen behind in my schoolwork for the sake of trying to write my comment. The good news, of course, is that the comment is finished. The bad news is that everything else is starting to come at me. I'm also trying to take on more responsibility at work... well at the internship. I am almost positive that my mentor thinks that I'm slow. His assignments usually consist of editing and making grammatical corrections. Now part of that may be him giving me shit he doesn't want to do, but I suspect that he thinks that those are "safe" assignments. Consequently, I've sought out other attorneys and have gotten assignments from them. These research assignments are BEYOND boring, but they're helping me to hone my research skills which is important. I need a self esteem boost in the legal arena and I'm hoping that this will help.

In other news I spoke to my boss about my leave of absence, he tentatively gave the green light. Words cannot begin to express the relief I felt. I cannot imagine anyone else in the world that would let me have another summer to do something like this. I really do love what I do at XM and I'm praying that staying there thru the end of law school will help me to save up some money and possibly lead to a position in the new company (ifthateverhappens). With the economy the way it is, I was DREADING coming back to no job. I tend to be optimistic when it comes to the job market. I have been fortunate enough to have avoided being unintentionally unemployed for any extended period of time... but with all this talk of recessions and whatnot, I was starting to wonder if i was making the right decision. I'm happy for now, but until the paperwork is all completed, I'm only cautiously happy. This also means that i'll need to work my ass off between now and May. Between the raise that I received and the fact that my boss goes above and beyond for me, I need to make sure I do all that I can to keep things running smoothly.

The Recap

So... I'm back home :(

And by home i mean DC... not my "real" home.

Once again Eric, Dom, Mariam and Vic went out of their way to make us feel special. We ate at our favorite spots and discovered a couple of new ones. We learned how great watermelon hookah could be and even got to ride a cable car.

I had an amazing time and I think I'm one step closer to making the move permanent.

And now... the photo recap:


Gas is trés expensive.. but i won't have a car this summer so i guess it's ok


BJ signed a couple of endorsement deals


There were tons of beautiful flowers


See?


One more


There were cute doggies too!


Delicious Pizza


Amazing sunsets


Dom swears by the Guinness Float, but we didn't try it

One thing that I love about SF is that it's so colorful... between murals, graffiti and colorful buildings, the city is so vibrant and alive:









There are some things you shouldn't do in San Fran...



Museum of the African Diaspora


We got some culture at MoMA:



Then I decided to get creative:







This sums up me and Dom's friendship:




Me, Dom and ID at the Warriors game



I love my city


See all the pics here:

San Francisco 3/10 - 3/15

The Last Day

So... this is it. Today is our last day (this time around) in San Fran. As usual we've had a blast. Eaten at a ton of great places, tried to spend some time in neighborhoods that we weren't familiar with. It's funny because at this point, when I come to San Fran it's not about me trying to see all the touristy stuff (i *will* make it to Alcatraz one day though), it's more about me catching up with friends and just hanging out. This place feels like home and I love that. One thing that I've realized though is that I have no sense of north, south, east, west here. It just struck me as odd... but I make do.

I also saw the apartment that I'll be staying in this summer. Its beautiful! Lots of light, lots of space... just a chill spot. It just seems like everything is coming together. I don't want to spend too much more time typing because I should be out enjoying myself. I just need to remember to come back and do a recap while everything is fresh in my head.

I Did It

And now my reward...

At about 3pm today I turned in my comment which *should* mean that I have met both the requirements for the Journal and my Upper Level Writing requirement... which *should* mean that I have 18 more credits to take before I am official law school graduate... and after this summer and taking the journal credits into consideration for next semester.... i will have 8 credit hours worth of classes... and then the Bar Exam...

But for now, I'm celebrating. Heading to San Fran in about 8hrs. I'm going to eat, drink, and be merry and hopefully come up with a place to live this summer. When I get back I'll be turning all my attention to catching up in my classes, improving my performance at my internship and convincing my boss to grant me one last leave of absence.

In other news, the sting of not being able to drive across country has hopefully been lessened. I think I'm going to help a friend drive across the middle part of the country and wind up in one of my favorite places to give away money. Yay?

I also finally got my bridesmaid dress. Well I ordered it and I think i may have fucked myself royally on this one. I know the dress will need to be altered because it's too long. The dress will be here by 6/2 at the latest... the wedding is 6/7. I may not even be there to pick up the dress... I will not forgive myself if I'm mess this up. So yeah... I suck.

There's also something special that I'm going to try to do in San Francisco. It's been a long time since i've done it and it's something that I think I need to do at this point... but enough of the being cryptic. If I do it, I do it.

Vacation

We leave for San Francisco in 4 days... and I have a TON of shit to do before then. It's going to be a much deserved vacation though. I'm turning in my comment on Sunday then I'm packing and relaxing.

Yay!

Time seems like it's been sped up lately. Everything is shifting... everyone is moving and relocating... and while I'm moving forward too, I can't help but to also feel a little stagnant. I know that I need to do a better job of working on my goals and my future but sometimes I just want to be a little lazy. One thing is for sure, come hell or high water, I'm leaving DC after graduation, if only for a little while, I need to be able to say i've lived somewhere else.

Also, I woke up this morning to a swollen lip... and there's no reason for my puffy ass lip. Didn't eat anything weird, no unusual exposure to the cat... just puffy lip. I'm due at my internship in an hour and 45 mins... i'm hoping its fixed by then because this is actually pretty embarrassing... i need to buy groceries too. So much to do... blah blah blah.

I'm better

... and BJ's better too.

I don't think I've been that sick in YEARS. I can honestly say the flu picked me up and knocked me on my ass. Either way i'm pretty much better now and that's what's important.

I also got back out to see the godkids today. That made me smile... and then it made my ovaries start jumpin around. I'd really like to have kids soon. I'd also like to travel all over the world without having to worry about what to do with the kids. It's a very interesting place I'm at right now. I mean the truth of the matter is, if I'm going to have kids, I should do it soon... but like... I kinda don't want to. I'm torn. Some days there's nothing I want more than to just live my life for me and be selfish with my time... other times I want a family and all the stuff that goes along with it. **insert sigh here**

In other news... I'm kinda fuckin up this semester. I'm just not interested and that's bad news. I think it's because I'm doing way too much. Luckily this paper is due in a little over a week and then I will get a bit of freedom. For now, however, I must push thru and get this stuff done.

Wish me luck :)

Dilla Day 2/21/08

I think that I could end the blog with that picture, but I want to at least try to put into words what yesterday meant to me.

For as long as I can remember I have loved music. My earliest music memories are of me and my nephew. We would listen to the radio and sing along... and when we got tired of that, we'd make our own tapes of us playing radio. We'd announce and sing the songs... most of those tapes ended with someone snatching the microphone, a little bit of arguing... perhaps a scuffle, the stop button would be pushed, and we'd run off to do something else. From there I guess I got hooked on videos and more radio. My parents had records but I wasn't really allowed to play with them. I had my own stack of records but I had to have someone else put them on for me.

I remember when I got old enough to work the stereo on my own. How excited I would get everytime i would place a record on the turntable and marvel at the sounds that would come thru the speakers. As I got older I realized the effect that music had on my emotions... Over the years I fell in and out of love with many different artists and genres but my love for music remained constant.

That brings me to last night... kinda... in 2005, I took a trip to san fran... and dom insisted on playing this song over and over again. That's Dom's thing... He'll hammer a song into your head... The song was "The $$" by Dilla... a song that wouldn't be officially released until like 2 yrs later I think. Either way I was hooked and i quickly realized, like a bunch of others, that Dilla had produced like 200 other songs that I loved... ok *that* brings us to last night.

February 21, 2008, was "Dilla Day" at XM. It started out with a panel that consisted of Pete Rock, Talib Kweli, and Ms. Yancey (Dilla's mother). The three spoke on their experiences with him and how his music changed their lives. It was extremely interesting to hear his mother talk about him and to hear Pete speak and to just be so in awe of Dilla's talent. After the panel, a group of extremely talented artists took the stage and paid tribute by playing song after song from JD's extensive catalog.

The night was a huge success. There were plenty of times that I was almost moved to tears (yes, i know this is nothing new) but it reminded me again why i love music so much. I tried to explain it to a friend... It's like ppl get so caught up in chasing samples and trying to figure out what record a producer used on a record, that it seems like they lose sight of the fact that at some point someone actually played the song. Hearing a live band playing these songs brought the music back to life. It reminded me why i love music and what it means to me.

Music is truly my first love. I'm glad that I have people in my life that i can share that love with and that understand it's importance in my life... but enough about all that... here are some more pics. Enjoy.



Grap



Kev Brown



Flex Matthews



Cy Young



J Hill


See more here:

Dilla Day at XM 2/21/08

I am sick

like for real sick. Not, "I just need a day off from work" sick... not, "i have to finish this homework" sick... but fever, chills, coughing, aching, etc sick.

I guess this is what I get for talking shit about flu shots... but how was I supposed to know that so many people would be inconsiderate enough to come to work/school sick? Either way, these germs have picked me up and slammed me. I just hope that B isn't next. I wouldn't wish this shit on my worse enemy.

I should probably mention that tomorrow is Dilla Day at XM. Know what that means? It means that Pete Rock and Talib Kweli will be speaking at XM. Remember how I'm sick? :(

This is kinda like the ULTIMATE blower. I think I'm going to stay home from XM tomorrow and then head in for the Dilla party tomorrow night. I'm just tryna stay warm and as healthy as possible.

Wish me luck...

How I Spent My Weekend

So my bf decided that apparently I need culture. so... he took me to the Japan Culture + Hyper Culture exhibit at the Kennedy Center. There were toys and robots and art and just lots of cool stuff. We had so much fun that we left there to get some more "culture" at a graphic design event called "X" at Be Bar in NW, DC. I got a massage and that's about all i remembered... oooo the mojitos!!! Brown sugar mojitos!!! I was in HEAVEN.

Happy Black History Month?

I'm just... speechless. I mean I guess we should be "happy" that someone wants to help us do something positive but...

Arrghhh just go see/listen for yourself

Travesty

Rested

I finally feel like I'm back to normal. Alot of weights have been lifted and I think I'm ready to get back on track. I struggled with my first draft for my ALR comment, but I got it done and was told that it was a "good effort"... as opposed to the "what in the fuck is *this* crap" that I was expecting. Two more drafts and it's all over.

I also got elected to the 2008-2009 editorial board (ie the big thing that i didn't want to talk about). The note and comment editor position was my second choice, but I completely understand why I didn't get my first choice so i'm only moderately bitter :)
Either way that means that after this summer I have only 14 credit hours left to graduate. It's really almost over!

I also found out that the organization that I'm working for this summer has secured frequent flyer miles for me to get to and from San Francisco for the internship... this would mean, however, no driving cross country so i need to make a decision on that ASAP.

Friday night me, B, Sha and Jesse headed to NY for the DAF2 party. I got to see a lot of folks i hadn't seen in ages and had the chance to party my ass off. Though the inherent extraness of a couple of personalities irked me to no end, overall I had a blast and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. From Jesse's alcohol induced dancing to Phonte's superior hosting skills, to getting to say what up to Evil Dee face to face for the first time in years... there was just a lot going on. No recap could possibly do it justice. Just like in LA DJ Houseshoes killed it... I'm rambling but it was an amazing night.

I'm annoyed

If you know someone is waiting on your parking space, do you take your time?

If you know someone is having a conversation, do you interrupt them because you feel that what you have to say is more important?

If you know it's raining/sleeting/sweltering/snowing/hailing/etc outside, do you leave your boyfriend/girlfriend to fend for themselves in the elements while you sit at home eating oodles of noodles?

If you know your boyfriend/girlfriend is sitting at home waiting for you to bring them dinner, do you go 1.5+ hours without letting them know that you were delayed and the only way they find out is when they call because you made no attempts to let them know?

If you know that... I'm just gonna stop. I'm annoyed... and hungry... and this isn't helping. I think *i'm* about to have some oodles of noodles my damn self.

Baby Steps

So Mickey said that to help myself not feel overwhelmed, i need to start taking baby steps... that way I'm forced to do a little at a time and not end up crazed when I've managed to wait til the last minute. Yay Mickey!


In other news, I'm starting to get really anxious about the summer. I've been kind of putting it out of my mind because I remember how worked up i got about last summer and I'd really rather not deal with that again.... but i just looked at the calendar and I leave in like 107 days... not bad since i started counting at like 250 last year.

I saw the most beautiful sunrise this morning and it reminded me why I'm supposed to take my camera everywhere i go. I almost went back for it but i was already runnin late.

Just a few things

so... I'm stressed, overwhelmed and generally frustrated. But, I'm still here. I have a buncha stuff on my plate but i'm plodding along. For the most part though, things are good. I'm currently searching for a church to join. I'm kinda torn on the topic. I mean I consider myself very spiritual, but not particularly religious. My science mind tells me this is really all there is, but my heart (and several years of brainwa... er conditioning) tell me that there is a supreme being of some sort that watches over us. At any rate, i've been talking to that being... asking to be brought back to the church and interestingly enough I got my "calling". My best friend, mom of three of the most beautiful kids in the world, has asked me to be a Godmother, but in order to do that, I need to be a member of a church (gotcha, bitch!). So, yeah, I'm working on that. I'm also doing something else that's really important but i don't want to talk about for fear of jinxing myself. I'll know for sure on 2/9.

What else? Oh... Monie Love taped her first XM show yesterday. I wasn't there for the taping but i couldn't be happier. It's hard to believe that my annoyance/perserverance (and hers) has paid off.

It's also almost Lent and i've been trying my best to figure out what to give up. I'm not quite sure yet, but i've got a few hours to pick something.

I think that's about it.

It *can't* be Monday already

*SIGH*

I'm tired... at 730 on monday morning and I'm tired. I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned over and over again and i'm not sure why. Maybe my body isn't used to sleeping on a bed? I dunno but i couldn't get comfortable to save my life.

This is going to be a fairly hectic week. LOTS of deadlines to meet and catching up to do. STILL a ton of stuff to do at the new apartment, although I can officially say that the old apartment is cleaned out and done with.

I also need to learn to save money. I'm about to quit my job and haven't save nearly as much as I should have up to this point. I need to quit that. The upside of that is that I've paid off a huge chunk of debt so hopefully that'll make it easier to save.

This is my life

If i NEVER see another box again it will be too soon. I am literally surrounded by them. I am happy to say that my kitchen is, for the most part, big enough to house most of them... but that means that I haven't been able to cook. You win some and you lose some I suppose (see yesterday's entry).

At any rate, I hope to get things settled this weekend. With the new tv i'd like to be able to watch the superbowl and eat some snacks prepared in my new kitchen. I'm not sure how much I'll get done though because I have a TON going on. Work, internship, ALR paper, unpacking, cleaning, car to the shop, etc etc.

Here's some pics that I think are pretty dandy:



ignore the eye booger... he's a sexy beast



Ikea is NOT for the squeamish



*THIS* is my kitchen :(



At least he has a neat place to eat



Did i mention the boxes?



If you look closely you can see the stove



no words

My day started off better than his...

So at about 640am I was about to head out my door to work (it's GREAT living 10 minutes closer to work). Just as i grabbed my door i heard pounding on my next door neighbor's door....
BAM BAM BAM... Police executing a search warrant open up!

For a split second i thought maybe someone was playing around until I realized that that was a lot of noise to be making at 640am for a joke. I look out the peephole and sure enough there's the whole damn swat team out there with guns drawn about to run up into this apartment. I wake poor B outta a sound sleep and scare the shit outta him and then I just sit and wait... I mean do you go out into the hall when the SWAT team is next door? I decided that wasn't a wise decision. After things quieted down over there I calmly (ha) walked out my front door only to be met by an officer with a gun who said "good morning, ma'am. Everything is ok"
I wish there was a camera for me to look into and give the "nigga please" look because clearly shit wasn't "ok". I mean granted I wasn't the one having the search warrant executed at my house, but it's still a crappy thing to wake up to.

Either way my day started off better than the guy next door so I guess I really shouldn't complain.

An open letter to Eric

Dear E:

There is no "wooooooo" for the new apartment. The water smells like sulfur... or rather it did... I mean according to the lady if i let the water run all day while I'm gone, the smell will go away. So now i am back at the old apartment, taking a shower and brushin my teeth, trying not to think about the gallons of water wasting at my new apartment.

Other than that the move went well. If you might be moving sometime in the near future... get you a dolly, son. We stacked like 83 boxes on the dolly. Heavy dresser? Dolly. Going to Ikea? Dolly. I want a dolly. I just want to be pushed everywhere on a dolly. That's gotta be the life.

At any rate, I'm about to bounce. We're heading to BJ's grandmother's 90th bday party!

Hope all is well in beautiful Oakland.

Talk to you soon,

Love,

Monica

Internship Day 2

I started my internship yesterday. Really it was more like I went to orientation and met a few ppl but either way it was my first day. My initial impression is that I really think that I'm going to enjoy it. The truth of the matter is that I've never had a job that challenged me. I usually tend to take bullshit jobs that pay decent enough without making too much work for me. Needless to say I'm a little nervous about this job, but looking forward to learning new things and testing my skills to see if I can make it in the "real world." It helps that my office there has an amazing view. Not bad for my first trip out of cubicle world.

I also got the keys to the new apartment yesterday. While I like the space and the rent is in my range, I can honestly say that I'm not a fan of the leasing office folks. The guy who helps me is a sweetheart but he's the only one that does any work apparently. It'll be interesting to see how they react when i make my first maintenance call... of course only like 50 ppl live in my building so I would hope they don't take too long.

I'm getting too old for this shit

so one of the things i've been working on is being more social. Too often I complain that folks don't invite me anywhere... truth is a lot of them have STOPPED inviting me places cuz i never go. So this season the new thing has been going to a co-worker's house to watch the Patriots games. That's pretty cool because alot of other co-workers that I wouldn't see often are usually there too and it just kinda helps to get to know them and make things easier in a professional setting.

Well last night after the game B and I went to hook up with some other friends at a bar down the street. I had one of the best times that I've had in awhile. Good music, surrounded by good ppl. It was just a great vibe the only complaints i have are 1) this place lets you smoke inside and let's just say that today I will be washing my hair, and 2) i really get bothered when ppl encourage you to drink after you say "no more, thanks." I mean maybe it's because I've come from a pretty dark place with my drinking, but I just feel like if someone says no to likka there's no need to push them... I mean where are these peer pressuring mofos when I don't wanna eat my veggies?

But yeah, I had a great time. I think that's a spot i'm going to have to visit a little more frequently.

Judgment Day

Today I have my annual review at work. I'm not sure why but this ALWAYS makes me nervous. Forget the fact that I've done a lot of good stuff for the channel. Forget the fact that I know that I'm probably leaving sooner rather than later. I'm nervous. I guess it's just the idea of feeling like you're being judged. Especially when it's by someone who you feel like you can't really voice your opinion on.

Honestly, I just want to know how much more money I will be making this year. I mean the reality is, most of us work for a paycheck, or at least realized that paycheck is extremely important. But it'll be a couple weeks before they talk about that portion of the equation.

In other news, I'm REALLY trying to battle this procrastination thing but sometimes, I just can't bring myself to do what I know I need to do. As a result of this, next week is going to be extremely hectic. Hopefully, I'll get thru it unscathed.

Friends

I am blessed with some of the best friends I never get to see. These are folks who open their houses and hearts to me for no reason other than friendship. Sometimes I'm amazed at just how "good" these folks are. Over the years technology has definitely proven to be a gift and a curse. It isolates us, while bringing us closer. Although I rarely get to spend time with them, I get to interact with my west coast friends on a fairly regular basis which I love. Unfortunately, they're just too far to call on when I want to hit a happy hour after lunch. Either way I love them all immensely and I look forward to spending another summer with them.

0 to 60

In just 3 days life went from boring to overload. I really need to learn to use my time better. The good news is that I really do live for this kind of stuff. I like having stuff to do. My issue is that I need to stop being so lazy and get this stuff done. I want to move away from my "enough to get by" ways. I want to excel. I have three semesters of school left and I fully intend to make the most of it. I am in a very strange but very fortunate place. I've put in a lot of work to get where I am and it's time for me to start making it mean something.

Things You'll See at My House

So I bought my camera yesterday and fell in love. I played around a bit and just tried to get familiar with her. The camera is pretty much the digital version of my manual Nikon so the adjustment wasn't too hard. The camera is lightweight, user friendly and damn sexy.

I spent most of last night photographing various objects in my house. I made two very important discoveries: 1) I love the camera and 2) The stuff in my house is pretty boring. I plan to get out and about this weekend to try to come up with some more interesting subject matter. But in the meantime, here's some stuff you'd see if you were at my house:



Fishbone




Buttercup




USB Monsters




Cars




B